Jan 2012

Well here we are another new year 2012 its going to be a busy year for the uk with the games and the queens diamond jubilee. But that aside we are now in my 5th year with CES and its not good news I have seen my Dr at Coventry uni hospital was there for 20 mins had many questions for him. He was shocked to learn it took them 3 months to find out what was wrong with me and to operate. He checked my legs and movement and then my reflexes on my knees but nothing and then said put your knee on the chair so he could try on my feet but nothing. 


He said 5 years on if I was to recovery I would have some nerves but he said but checking they are dead and won't grow back.
I sort of knew that would be the case but I wanted another Drs opinion. I am waiting for an MRI to see what is going on then look at pain management as he doesn't want to risk operating on me due to my weight but also he said it won't mend the problem as I have long term damage. 


I am not looking forwarded to my scan as before I had open ones at Shirley Oaks Hospital in Croydon and Coventry Uni doesn't I have just emailed my Dr asking if I can go to them as I would feel much more at ease and after having 3 done I know the staff and my husband was able to come in with me and chat to me

October 2011

Well been a while since I updated this lots has happened I have been told by my gp I have depression which i kind of knew who wouldn't with my condition and what I have been through in the last 4 years. Gosh has it really been that long since I was diagnosed with CES and I feel like I am going back to square one.
For one I am on antibiotics now to keep my UTI at bay as I have had 5 this year. They think its down to me wearing pads 24/7 as I am drinking and have decaf tea I use wipes instead of toilet roll. Its been a busy month this month as had many clinic appointments have had my feet checked with the sensation test and I do have little movement and senses on my left foot and leg. Which I already knew both my podiatrist nurse and continuance nurse have said I need to see a neurologist the last time I saw one was just after I had surgery to see if it had worked. I have also be advised to wear my splits again as I still have a dropped foot as she tested the strength by holding my foot and me pulling away from her and I couldn't do it with my left foot.
as well as them saying just for them to notice I am here so if the right disc does get worse I can see them instead of going back down to Kent where my doctor there will moan about my weight again.

Here is my  measurements which are really good
11/10/2010 first one
Weight 148.1 kg
BMI 57.7
Bust 59.2 inches
Waist 54.2 inches
Abdomen 60.4 inches
Hips 59 inches
RT thigh 29 inc
LT thigh 30 inch
RT arm 19 inch

27/1/2011 2nd one
Weight 152.2 kg
BMI 51.1
Bust 59.2 inch
Waist 54.2 inch
Abdomen 59 inch
Hips 58 inch
RT thigh 29
LT thigh 30
RT arm 19
LT arm 19

21/4/2011 3rd one
Weight 150.6
BMI 50.6
Bust 59.50 inch
Waist 54.50 inch
Abdomen 59.50 inch
Hips 58.25 inch
RT thigh 29.25
LT thigh 18.25 inch
RT arm  19.50 inch
LT arm 18.59 inch

4/8/2011 4th one
Weight 147.7 kg
BMI 49.6
Bust 58 inch
Abdomen 59 inch
Hips 57 inch
RT thigh 29 inch
LT thigh 30 inch
RT arm 19 inch
LT arm 18 inch

Its great seeing that the inches are coming off even if the weight is up and down not long till I see my dietian again got 4 weeks and want to lose at least 7 kg as then I would of lost over a stone since joining the club.

Jan 2011

Well here we are in another new year gone by with no improvement which is exstremely frustracting.
Nothing has been doen on the swollen disc still there, still giving me pain and discomfort.

I finally went in to this gym called Gymophobics I kept walking past it in town but never went in.
So mid October last year I did and I have to say I am glad I took that step. I started off slow only going in twice a week and now I am three times a week which I feel is a little to much as at the end of the week I am in so much pain where I spend the morning in bed till the pain killers work.

I am still not losing weight so this friday I am off to see someone at the hospital to find out why.
I am doing a 9 day food diary but looking at it nothing there I can see that is making me stay put or even put on. I have been eating loads of fruit which has helpped me to go to the loo most days better than it used to be.

I think this year I am more focus on losing my weight than I have been in the past. As this year we both want to try to have a baby. But I have a long way to go but I am aiming for Aug.

This tursday I have my first gym assessment since joining to see how I am doing and also have weight and measurements done. I am just feeling so low at the moment I don't think its like everyone says its this time of year. I think its more the fact its been 4 years now since all my problems began and that time I am still over weight.

Life is good I can't complain about that really I have a wonderful husband who gives me so much love and support. I just want to give something back by having a baby.
I keep dreaming about it I find myself on baby websites looking at things and have pictures of my friends baby on our fridge she has also been great sending me these to help me get there.
A little reminder of the reasons why I am doing this.

September 2010

Well here we are few months left of the year.
My goal was to be at least 3 stone down but it hasn't happend at the moment. Iam really not sure what is going on I am watching what I eat but its still not going the right way. Tomorrow I will try and have a swim and get myself back to the gym.
I feel like this will never happend and my husband and I won't be able to have children that we both want so much.

I just don't get it, we don't have chocolate any cakes we have are low fat snacks bars are low fat under 99 cals. I eat alot of fruit and our main meals aways meat and veg or pasta or rice.
It could be I am eating just to much. But suffereing bowl problems where it can be a week with out going to the loo and so I feel bloated all the time. But this week I have been pretty much every day.

I am off to see my new GP next week and going to have a chat with him. Something needs to be done as another winter is coming and that only means more pain than I have now.
Fingers cross the gym works out and I can at least swim again.

shall update more tomorrow.

Mid August 2010

I don't why but today I felt like I had to write a new post.
We have at last signed up to new doctors which is great as now I don't have to collect my medication from my old one which is miles away. I had to have a health check and we all know what they involve yep you guessed it being weighed. This was the bit I was dreading ever since I had that injection my weight has just gone up and up and not back to where is was before it.

So the nurse asks me to step onto the scales after measuring how tall I am .
Am stepping onto the scales and she then says OK step off now puts my weight in to the computer with the rest of my info. Then wham straight in to ask about my weight. I already tell her I know I am overweight and yes my condition could be connected to it.
Explained to her what treatment and advice I was getting from my hospital but it wasn't for long as the dietitian I was seeing was leaving to have a baby and said I could see the new person taking over from her. I was really comfortable with her and didn't want to see someone else.
This really upset me and so it set me back.

So when this nurse was talking about the things I need to do I was just so fed up I already know what I need to do am doing it but the weight is not going back down.
I can't do much exercise as it really is painful in all parts of my back and legs.

I try and walk into town at least once or twice a week and use my tram pet I got. This was one of the equipments I used in physio session so thought I would try and keep that up.

I am really getting fed up with my weight and myself for letting myself get like this.
Today I found out another friend of mine is having a baby. All I keep hearing is people having babies or just had them and I feel so jealous I guess is the word to describe my feelings to the news. I so long to have a baby my husband and I were going to try after our 1st wedding anniversary but as that's 3 weeks away I can't see this happening.

I guess hearing the news of friends having babies has sort of made me really think that I can have one to but I have to do the work to get myself prepared for pregnancy. Only I can do this.
Am going to join back at my old gym after the school summer holidays as its in a hotel it will mean things might be a bit quieter and less children in the pool as its not very big.
So this will my 1st step into getting myself sorted out. I don't want to have more surgery but I know one day I might have to have the pro laspes disc removed. I just can't believe this has happened again all the same pain is back but is under control with pain meds but I hate being this way having someone clean me up when I have problems going to the loo and sleepless nigths are getting worse and worse I really can't remember a night where I didn't sleep right through.
So we are going to be saving for a new bed to see if that helps.

Well nothing more I can think of right now to add but am glad I did type a new post as I do feel a little better oh and another thought that got me back here was in the new weightwatchers magazine this month someone blogg their weight lost journey and she lost 9 stones from doing it so this is what I hope to achieve.

July 2010

Well can not believe that soon I will of been married for a year where has the time gone.
It does seem a while since I wrote on here but a lot has happened.

Firstly I had to move back home as I couldn't cope with the stairs at my in law's home.
Later before Christmas I had another MRI scan done as pain in my right leg and hip was like before so panic struck in. So When I saw Yanni for my result sort of knowing what they would be.
Was told I had a new prolapse disc but this time on my right side where as the others where on my left.

He booked me in to have a nerve root block injection to ease the pain.
So I waited 4 months for this and it didn't work I am still in pain but as its now summer its not so bad manageable with pain killers I have now been given back on the old lot again.
I just seem to be going backwards and forwards and getting tired now.

At the time of the injection op I was told it was a 50 50 if I had known that I wouldn't of gone through with it even they did say to me are you happy to go a head I said well am here now was told to starve from night before and didn't have to ( thanks NHS nurses)

It made me put on weight and the other side effects from it made me feel down and just not myself my periods were every 2 weeks but its now back to normal but I did have the sodding thing on my honeymoon where we had booked a lovely place in Cornwall with a hot tub and I could only use it once.
But we shall return.

Things are good on the non medical side of my life we have our own place for 3 months now its lovely to have the room to do what we like and to live as a married couple as we didn't after we got married.

Am going to have to find a new GP who will understand my condition and maybe help me with my weight maybe look at going on these new tablets called alli but I need to make sure its safe.
All my friends around me have children who have had a baby and I feel sadden that I have let myself get like this with my weight and not to be able to have children.

In some ways it has made me more determined as now being 32 I really want to have one we both do we are ready now we have our place and are married all the 2 things I said I wanted first before having children and now I am stuck with this problem and need to get over these hurdles so we can.

Well not much more to add thats me up to date.

11th October 2009

Well autumn is sure here and its really getting colder now.
As my back is sore and in more pain than I was through the summer months.
I have been strict with myself and been to the gym alot and worked out and done 40 mins of swimming and it sure has paid off.
As I weighed in on Thursday gone -6lbs so pleased with that just hope I can do that again.

Been writing everything down of what I eat and making sure I have my main meal at lunch time.
Even through it doesn't fit in with everyone else this works for me.