February 2008

Well nothing realyl good to add this month. Still finding this all so hard.
Saw Dr Yanni 2 weeks ago and well its not good news he thinks a new disc has gone which could explain the pain in my left leg. I am back on anti flams again and now awaiting a scan to find out what is going on. Well I feel really down now as its a huge step backwards in the recovery. Weight well that to is going the wrong way. Why is this so hard I mean I manged to lose 8lbs in 6 weeks and now I seem to be putting that back on.

I go away for long weekends so I can de stress which works till I get back home again that is.
This is going to work it has to for me to feel better pysically and emotionally as well.
As I am feeling down at the moment as I just can't seem to focus on this.
Andy has been asked to be an ushers for this wedding so now I must find a dress to impress.
I have 8 monthd to go and I plan to lose at least 2 dress sizes as I have seen a few dresses I rather quite fancy looking sexy in.

I can't go swimming or work out at the moment as its too painful. Even a normal shopping trip is hard. I mean today for example I was out for 10 mins and I was dying really was god knows how I made it back to the car I really don't know.

I have this farewell drinks thing to go to this weekend but that all depends on how I feel.
It could be the last time I see her but its in a bar that doesn't have anywhere really to sit as its part of Frankie and Bennys. I mean why not have a meal there why drinks surely there are places to go rather there.

Oh well I am sure I will catch up with her before she flys off to Canada.
This is what it is like living with CES one day you could be feeling fantastic then the next it sets you back again. Makes making plans really hard.

My pledge is this from this day I will do this life change not because I have to but to make this person deep inside me happy once more and feel fantastic. Not that my life with Andy doesn't make me fell great and happy. But this would mean a better life for both of us.

When and if it I do get married I know one thing I will not be looking like this on my wedding day I will be sexy and feeling radeant and makeing my man feel proud.

Well heres to next week lets hope this is the last time I type that is down hearted and all I have is postive things to keep me going that the scales will be going the right way down not up.

February

Well not so good.

Feel like I am going backwards all the time, I try to go swimming or do a work out at the gym.

Next day I am in pain. Saw Yanni and he thinks I may have a new disc pro lapse.

Just when I thought things were looking up.

Least though I have no pain in back just when I walk or do anything really that involes standing on my left leg.

Hence why he thinks its now lower down into my back.