November 22nd 2008

Things going really well wedding plans are great all booked and pretty much all done.

Got to make invitation and order of service.

Weight is great in 3 weeks have lost 10lbs by the beg of Aug I hope to achevie a lose of 7.7 stone.

But with the swimming am likely to put on weight due to muscle but stranger things has happened.

So never know I maybe ok.

Have ordered my wedding dress costing £500 considering its normanly £800 so £300 saving.

Which unfort won't be spare cash as if it was normal price I wouldn't of got it.

Would of had it made instead.

SO not much else to add this month

3rd October 2008

Well been a while since I wrote in here. Alot has happened I am now planning my wedding for August 2009, also have moved from Kent to the Warwickshire area.

I am on a plan now with my gp. He has put me back on 10 mg sibutramine take one tablet once a day before breakfast.
I was a little unsure of going back to these as they can upset your tummy and with my incontinuce I can't be having to run to the loo when ever I eat. But it only happens when I eat the bad stuff full of fat. Since the one incident I had I have avoid the faty foods.

The weight is coming off at a good rate each month I started the course in August just before I moved. It has really helpped not being at mums where I would do my own shopping and eat it all in one go. Here Andy's parents do the shopping I add to the list but it lasts longer this time.

I don't feel hungry on these tablets, the gravings for sweet things is less been wanting fruit more than chocolate.

I have seen a friend of mine doing a diet where all you have is milkshake and thats it.
She has felt tired and having a lot of headaches.
On this course its nothing like that I have lost over half a stone its coming off nicely and I have not stopped eating only the inbetween meals.

I have my special K with banana on it and then nothing till lunch which will be a sandwich and then dinner in the evening before 7pm.

So nice being able to put on a air of 24 jeans from new look.
Roll on to our wedding as I am sure the dress I have order will be to big and nedd taking in loads.

Weigh in week today so watch this space for the weight........................................

Tuesday 20th May 2008

Well here we are on weigh day and have lost my 7lbs that I think was what I put on.
SO slim fast is working,
do it again in a week then that is my stone mark.
So should be able to lose enough for her to be happy with.

Its so easy on slim fast as I only have to think of one meal and that can be up to 600 cals.
So I pretty much have a ww meal and and a yoguart inbetween in the afternoons as I find that the hardest is some biscuits or fruit or even a yohuart.

Well lets hope this week goes as well as the last and my period that is due doesn't upset things as I am feeling pretty crap back playing up.

Hey hum to lose weight get married as that is what is doing it for me as I am planning our wedding.
;-)

May 13th 2008

Well it has been sometime since I wrote on here.
Not been great its up and down like a bloody yo yo.
Today I turned a corner as now with me getting married in sept 2009 I need to start seeing some results.
Or I am never going to do this.
Went out shopping and thought I would try slim fast if that doesn't work then weight watchers as I can not see my dietian keeping me on much longer.

I have 4 weeks to go till I see her so lets at least lose 5lbs a week then she will be happy.

For once things are going well I am have this patient caring man in my life who wants to put up with me for the rest of his life (god knows why lol)

We can do this get back on track think of the wedding and the trip in 5 months.
Well thats it for now lets hope next entry is a good one.

March 2008

What a start to the new month.
Weighed myself today I know its early but wanted to check that I was on target.
Well another 3lbs has gone.
I tell you it is hard as I do feel hungry after I have eaten but as they is nothing here to snack I just have to go and have another yoguart or a cup of tea.
Its terriable as I am always planning my next meal.

But shall get some bits on tuesday to make it a little easier.

End Of February 2008

Well coming to the end of the month and I can say at last I have manged to lose 3lbs do not know how but I have. Here's to March turning out to be a better month and more comes off me.
I can be quite happy with 3lbs a week that will be fine with me.

Well not much more to say just to say I can bloody do it and I shall be looking stunning for this wedding and make andy feel proud to be having me by his side.

Feb 25th

Well since last blog I did say I would write something good down.
That is not going to happen today as got bad news today a dear friend of mine passed away last night, she had been poorley was in hospital a few months ago with heart trouble and sadly that was what gave way. She will be sadly missed as a friend and choir member. But she lived a long life but never looked it.

The other sad thing is I am not doing so well with the weight especially after today news and that friends of mine can't seem or won't commit to my 30th birthday do but when its a nanny night out they can. I am feely very lonely and am thinking of moving away as I have nothing here to keep me as friends don't want to stay contact with me.

So all I want to do is eat but deep down I know that won't help me and will only make me feel even worse. Will ease the sadness for a bit till I step on those scales at the end of this week on Thursday.

My dietitian has suggested I try Slim fast but the thing with that is it can be expensive.
I need to stop eating crap and focus on this lovely dress I have seen.

There are a couple of people who are with me 100% and that is Andy and Emma as they take the time to read my blog and comment on it I would say they are my true friends and of course Andy is much more than that to me.
I thank them so much for incouraging me to do this.

Well here's to Thursday lets hope I am going the right way on the scales.

February 2008

Well nothing realyl good to add this month. Still finding this all so hard.
Saw Dr Yanni 2 weeks ago and well its not good news he thinks a new disc has gone which could explain the pain in my left leg. I am back on anti flams again and now awaiting a scan to find out what is going on. Well I feel really down now as its a huge step backwards in the recovery. Weight well that to is going the wrong way. Why is this so hard I mean I manged to lose 8lbs in 6 weeks and now I seem to be putting that back on.

I go away for long weekends so I can de stress which works till I get back home again that is.
This is going to work it has to for me to feel better pysically and emotionally as well.
As I am feeling down at the moment as I just can't seem to focus on this.
Andy has been asked to be an ushers for this wedding so now I must find a dress to impress.
I have 8 monthd to go and I plan to lose at least 2 dress sizes as I have seen a few dresses I rather quite fancy looking sexy in.

I can't go swimming or work out at the moment as its too painful. Even a normal shopping trip is hard. I mean today for example I was out for 10 mins and I was dying really was god knows how I made it back to the car I really don't know.

I have this farewell drinks thing to go to this weekend but that all depends on how I feel.
It could be the last time I see her but its in a bar that doesn't have anywhere really to sit as its part of Frankie and Bennys. I mean why not have a meal there why drinks surely there are places to go rather there.

Oh well I am sure I will catch up with her before she flys off to Canada.
This is what it is like living with CES one day you could be feeling fantastic then the next it sets you back again. Makes making plans really hard.

My pledge is this from this day I will do this life change not because I have to but to make this person deep inside me happy once more and feel fantastic. Not that my life with Andy doesn't make me fell great and happy. But this would mean a better life for both of us.

When and if it I do get married I know one thing I will not be looking like this on my wedding day I will be sexy and feeling radeant and makeing my man feel proud.

Well heres to next week lets hope this is the last time I type that is down hearted and all I have is postive things to keep me going that the scales will be going the right way down not up.

February

Well not so good.

Feel like I am going backwards all the time, I try to go swimming or do a work out at the gym.

Next day I am in pain. Saw Yanni and he thinks I may have a new disc pro lapse.

Just when I thought things were looking up.

Least though I have no pain in back just when I walk or do anything really that involes standing on my left leg.

Hence why he thinks its now lower down into my back.

22 Jan

Well only a day away from my next appointment.

Not feeling great as I know its not going to be go's

Will weigh myself tomorrow, been a bit of a set back as back really sore.

Am waiting on a phone call from my DR but am really scared as he will prob talk to me about the

weight and I know I must do it. But its so dame hard I am trying to get back in to the routine of eating 3 meals aday.

Gym well was happening but now I don't think so till my back is better.

Been given anti inflams again but like before it upsets the tummy.

Big time I can tell you.

I so want to do this as I need the change as I feel at the moment I am in the past with the back starting up again.

I really could do with out the nighmares of last year.

New Year 2008

Well here are a few weeks into the new year.
I am so glad Christmas is over as I did so badly.
Really thought I was doing really well still sticking to eat 3 meals aday with the odd chocolate that you always get over the festive period.

Well I brought my Weight Watcher scales the other day and went on them this mornign for my first new year weigh in and oh my god had I really indulge that much over 4 weeks.
Sadly I did and am not proud of it.
So I got up had a small breakfast and got myself down to the pool and I spent an hour in the pool. Manged to do 30 lenghts which I thought wasn't bad since the last time I went was back in November. Felt really good little tired but good and the back was fine.
So my next swim date is Friday so shal try and go an extra 10 lenghts.
Think its better for the back to go for a swim than use the gym as with swimming there is no pressure on the back as all and also the water gives you great support.

I am hopeing or should I say I will lose the weight that I have put on over the Christmas period.
Off to Andy's for his Aunts birthday next week and I am sure we shall get out and walk loads then I can go to my appointment and be weighed the same or if not a little less than the last weigh in day.

It means so much for me to lose this weight that has caused me so much upset and low self esteam. I have over the last week gain some loving supporters who are all battleing with their weight and need the in couragement as well to get them to their goals.
So we are updateing everyday on our progress and I my weigh in day for me at home is a Wednesday in the morning before breakfast.

Well I really hope this year us going to be the year I am a new person with my adoring parnter who is 100% behind me as well as my fellow losses.